On the morning of my first day of school I told Dylan that I was nervous and I really needed a pep talk.
This amused her to no end.
She sat straight up in her chair, cleared her throat, parsed her brain for everything she’s learned about handling new situations in her 8 years on this Earth, and listed off all of things I needed to do and remember when I went to school.
Okay mom, here’s what you’ve gotta do:
1. Have fun. That’s the most important thing.
2. Make sure you smile at everyone.
3. Ask people very nicely if they will be your friend.
4. If someone is making fun of you because you’re acting crazy (this is clearly something she has come to expect of me?), just ignore them and find someone else you like.
5. Don’t get frustrated if you don’t know something. Just don’t give up no matter what. You can totally do this.
6. And maybe you could bring some of your cookies or something cuz I bet your teachers would really like that.
I didn’t have time to whip up some cookies (though that was a very good suggestion), but her advice was perfectly on point and every time I thought about it throughout the day, which was a lot, it made me smile. So I pretty much nailed #2. Continue reading →
I’ve been writing for other people for 20 years.
Being able to do so has been one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given; however, it’s time for something new.
It’s not the career I want anymore.
Creating some white space for myself over the past year has made that clear.
I want to write for the rest of my life, but not for other people. I want to write because it feels like home, because there’s no better feeling than the one I get when I’m about to take on a blank page, and because when I’m writing, I feel like I’m at my best. It’s just that I’m ready for that writing to become a more or less selfish endeavor. Continue reading →
If you’re interested in reading about your superpower, it’s possible that you’re experiencing a crisis of sorts. Maybe…
- your career isn’t going as well as you’d hoped
- you hate your job
- you feel out of sorts
- you’re not sure what your next step should be
- your relationships are tanking
- you’re having trouble making decisions
- you have a nagging feeling that you’re not living the life you were meant to have
- you can’t seem to move forward…on anything
Or maybe you just want to know what they heck your superpower is. Fair enough.
I can relate to that. I have felt and experienced all of those things.
You know what turned it all around for me?
Accepting and embracing who I am and unleashing that certainty into every area of my life.
I know, it sounds so simple. But the truth is, accepting yourself for who you are and embracing it is easier said than done. For one, we don’t always know ourselves as well as we think we do. We’ve spent a lifetime being told by parents, teachers, bosses, friends, and anyone with an opinion what we’re good at and who they would like us to be.
They haven’t lodged their opinions or perceptions on us with bad intention. At least I hope not. It’s just that it’s human nature to see the world and the people in our lives through who we are rather than through who they are. So, when we get messages from others, no matter how overt or subtle, we often accept their opinions as truth (often unconsciously) even though deep down we may feel like someone else entirely. Continue reading →
Ahhh. Just hearing those words together makes me feel all tingly inside.
I hear it and I think, “Yes, yes, I want more of that!”
Then, I go about my day and end up doing what Paula Scher calls solemn work.
Solemn work is work we know. Its work we get used to doing, work we’re good at, and work that’s predictable. We expect to do it, it’s expected that we can do it, and it’s expected that the results will be good when we do perform it. It’s the kind of work that allows us to use our skills and natural abilities but it does not stretch us. The results don’t blow our minds and we rarely complete that good work and think, “Hell yes, I think I’ve just made my mark!”
That’s how we feel when we do great work, or as Scher calls it, serious work.
Serious work is the work we think we can’t do, or work that we don’t even think about at all because it’s just outside of our wheelhouse. It’s the work that shows up out of nowhere and we know in that moment we are unqualified to do it. It’s big and great and the idea of doing it sends irresistible triggers to the part of us that craves meaningful work that will allow us to blow our minds, hopefully others too, and do something that matters. Continue reading →
The person we are changes all of the time. As long as we’re still alive and kicking, it’s never too late to change either our minds or our situations, and maybe both.
I’m not sure who said this, otherwise I would give credit where credit is due, but I remember hearing in graduate school that five years is the rough time frame that includes the life of the current you.
Meaning, when you spend time regretting decisions you made many years ago, you’re attempting to access a person that really no longer exists. It’s unproductive and it undercuts your ability to make the best choices you can in this moment. You aren’t your past.
On some level we know that. But it’s easy to forget it when we’re trying to figure out who we want to become.
So today let’s just pretend we’ve emerged from our slumber as a brand new, uncomplicated, baggage free version of ourselves and we get to slap whatever paint we want on our canvas. Who do you want to become?
Get your fancy pen ready. Continue reading →
It’s about this time of year when I start to feel a shift in the energy of my life.
I start to notice myself looking at everything in a new way, having a bit of retrospective clarity (oh if only we had that clarity in the moment), and I have a sense that something new is afoot.
About 15 years ago I started studying Numerology and over the years the knowledge of the number energies has surprised me, guided me, and calmed me when nothing else seemed to be making any sense.
Well actually, I got my first taste of it when I was a pre-teen and I read an article in Elle Magazine about numbers. I can still see the numbers clear as day on the page. I ate it up like it was a green apple jelly belly.
But back in those days, there was no Internet to keep the interest going and there weren’t a whole lot of “New Age” bookstores or mystics lining the streets in my neck of the woods, so all of my knowledge of the subject was contained in that 5-page article.
Then, in 1999, I had a reading and I was again hooked.
So, that’s how my fascination grew.
For those of you not familiar with the roots of Numerology, here’s a very abbreviated history lesson. Continue reading →
According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Professor of Psychology and Management at the Drucker Graduate School of Management, Claremont (CA) Graduate University, the excellence of daily life depends not only upon WHAT we do but HOW we do what we do.
The “how” he talks about is the “psychic energy” we bring to the activities that make up our day-to-day life whether those activities involve doing a task, participating in a hobby, or spending time with another human being.
Csikszentmihalyi believes that our attention is limited and therefore what we pay attention to is an important variable in how we experience our time and the quality of our lives.
For a great part of his career Csikszentmihalyi has been studying and measuring the quality of the human experience. In order to do so one of the instruments he developed is a measurement technique called the Experience Sampling Method (ESM). Continue reading →
Imagine starting your day at peace instead of feeling rushed and anxious about the day ahead.
Imagine spending your day with a clear head, a pain-free body, and the resilience to bounce back from all of the unplanned and unexpected gems the world throws your way.
And imagine being able to recreate those feelings anytime you want…
The Mind Body Morning 30-day challenge is for the overwhelmed, the over-booked, and the pressed for time.
For those of you who live their lives attached to screens – connected to the external world but not to themselves.
And for those of you who know you aren’t performing at your best…and that’s not good enough.
It’s a 30 day, 30 minute daily experiment designed to help you slow down, focus, get clarity, and prep your mind and body for the day ahead.
It’s the culmination of years of research on myself, clients, and anyone else I could convince to give it a try. It’s grounded in brain science, Yoga, meditation and performance psychology.
It’s easy, it’s quick, and EVERYONE has time enough to do it. Continue reading →
1. Not everyone will get you, like you, or care about you. Don’t waste time on those people. Ever. Good begets good; so, surround yourself with people who see you and love you no matter what.
2. Pick a talent path. Do not squander your goods. See them and share them and know that just because they may come easy to you, it doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable. USE them every chance you get.
3. Everyone knows they do shit wrong. Everyone knows they miss stuff and make poor decisions and ignore GIANT RED FLAGS. Everyone knows it. So, don’t point it out to them or tell them what to do unless they ask. Trust me. I know I can go down some REALLY unfortunate paths but if I’m talking to you about it and I’m not asking you for advice, it means that I know I am ignoring the obvious and I want to keep living in my fantasy world even though I know it’s going to be a certain shit show. However, if someone flat out asks for your opinion on it, tell the truth. Be kind but tell the truth.
4. Take a day off. Seriously, the whole day. No phone, no computer, no working out, no cleanse, no bills, no balancing, no cleaning, no errands, no forced meditation, no obligation. Just you, some quiet, some HGTV, and whatever drink makes you feel like a queen. I know it’s hard. I work well over full time, I have a 7 year old and a husband and no help in sight. Make it happen. It matters.
5. Look at old photo albums from the time you were a baby to now. Reflect, laugh, and give yourself a giant hug for making it to this very moment. It was no small feat. You’re a rock star.
Much to my dismay, we live in a world where writing letters is a dying art. It’s just so much easier to text, email, post or otherwise verbally spray our precious screens that very few take pen to paper anymore. (And please don’t even get me started on e-cards. They literally bring tears to my eyes.) The first hand written letter writers of the past (500 b.c) are rolling around in their graves about our current communication methods.
Therefore, I do my best to keep the art alive. I call it “making someone’s day.”
This is my current favorite song that I listen to 100 times a day and here’s one of the reasons why:
If you had something to say
You’d write it on a piece of paper
Then you’d put a stamp on it
And they’d get it three days later
Hey, whatever happened to waitin’ your turn
Doing it all by hand,
‘Cause when everything is handed to you
It’s only worth as much as the time put in
It all just seemed so good the way we had it
Back before everything became automatic”
Automatic – Miranda Lambert
About 6 months ago I decided to make letter writing one of my 30 day challenges. I am obsessed with experimentation and 30 and 60 day challenges and am a master at figuring out how to turn a random idea into a “challenge” of some sort. It drives my husband ca-raaaay-zy. But for some reason it gives my ideas purpose and some place to land. I have no idea why that is important to me, but it is. Continue reading →